sometimes, doesn’t it? (Poem)

just like water,
from afar,
water – folding on itself,
waves eating on their own;
i sit down,
sometimes life looks so good, doesn’t it?

i have never been creative,
my life has never been too;
regurgitating words,
like i regurgitate events
that do not mean anything;

farce
that is all it is –
a perverse farce;

one moment you are so happy
ecstatic;
charged;
in the clouds;
ebbing and flowing;
like a happy wave hitting the happy shore;

and just a second,
one thunderstorm,
one dark second,
one moment of contemplation,
one glance,
you bite your tongue,
and feel your blood,
and swallow your tongue,
then spit your blood;

the wave now looks so dark,
and as you suffocate to turn to the shore,
engulfed by the wave;
you never do,

the water is red,
as if you painted your paintbook,
with
bare mud and blood;